Kindness as an ideal

One of the values I hold most dearly is kindness.

By kindness, I mean a manner of being that shows care, consideration and empathy towards others. It might present itself as generosity, as quickness to forgive, as choosing to speak with care even in anger, and so on. It is one of the most important traits that I select for in close relationships.

As we grow older, we learn to look out for ourselves and our loved ones — to secure our place in the world socially, and financially. But this narrow view blinds us to how harsh the world is for others. Simi’s Remind Me captures it perfectly:

My baby say “She hungry”, I give am food
I tell am “I will do anything for you”
But a stranger say, “Please I no get shoe”
I look am like this, say, “Who are you?”

Watching my parents practice generosity — and later, my years at Daystar — shaped my belief that we each carry some responsibility for making life a little lighter for others.While we might not have the means to solve every problem, our acts of kindness can make this place a little better to live in.

And this isn’t to say that I expect perfect kindness from others or even practice it myself. I fail at it many times, as do many of the people who I consider kind. Like any other ideal, practicing kindness is challenging: it requires discipline, sacrifice — the ability to step out of our own needs to look after those of others.

Most of us will never become elite athletes, but that doesn’t stop us from exercising. We set goals, we show up and each effort makes us better. We get stronger, even if we will never reach perfection.

Kindness is like that too. We may never be perfectly kind, but we can keep practicing. We can make the daily effort — to help someone in need, to choose a kind word, to take a breath before piling on someone on their worst day. Every move gets us closer, and makes the world a more pleasant place to live in.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things. (Philippians 4:8 — NIV)