How to lean into discomfort — January 2024 Edition

In 26 things for 26, I wrote about leaning into discomfort and then subconsciously made it a watchword for the year and this phase of my life. Here are some ways to practice it that I did this month:

1. When you want to talk yourself out of doing something beneficial because it is uncomfortable, say out loud “I will lean into discomfort” and do it anyway. Not everything you want is on the other side of fear, but some of it is.
2. When you have 2.5km left in a 5k and you really, really want to stop, scream “second-half stronger” to no one in particular.
3. Make one tough decision and stick with it. In that one area, don’t take your loved ones up on their offer to enable your chronic tendency to hedge your bets.
4. Let your discomfort about the state of society push you to do small (or big), meaningful things that impact the causes you care about. Don’t look away from the discomfort.
5. Don’t shy away from constructive feedback. Yes, you’re not great at some stuff. No, it doesn’t mean you’re less than. Sit with the feedback and try to improve — re-read number one when it’s time to take action.
6. Close the messaging app when you read a message that infuriates you. Sit with the weird, uncomfortable feeling and stop yourself from clapping back. Wait until you’re calmer to give a response that reflects who you are and what you want.
7. Send the cold email or text or DM. Ask for the intro. Don’t get too hung up on what you will or will not say if the call gets scheduled. You don’t have anything to lose if it doesn’t.
8. When you do get the response and the call gets scheduled, prepare as well as you can. Be curious, be genuine, be forthright. Good things can happen to those who try.
9. Make another decision (and another). Decide on the parameters, write a list of pros and cons, talk to your friends, whatever you need to do — just make your decision.
10. Set a goal to do something challenging consistently— anything at all. Show up to it. It will give you a sense of pride that you can carry into other areas of your life.
11. Talk yourself through the first few minutes of the first run after you recover from shin splits. You will feel like giving up multiple times, but stick with it. You’ve got this.
12. Don’t trade honesty for comfort. Stay true to your values even when following through feels difficult.
13. Hit the publish button. Share your writing publicly. Then, turn off notifications and keep them muted until you feel slightly more comfortable with having your thoughts out in the world where people see and judge them — judge you.
14. Sit through the icky feeling that you get from negotiating. It’s not that big a deal to ask for a lower price (or a higher price — depending). Call for reinforcements if you need to, but open your mouth and ask.
15. Practice makes progress. Participate wholeheartedly, and know that you will not be perfect. None of the current participants use their imperfections as a crutch.